Tuesday, October 16, 2018

A dark mark on the CV

I suspect, like me, many people have a job with a particular company or organisation that they'd rather forget. A blot on their employment history that marks a wrong decision or an oversold set of promises that never quite lived up to recruitment hype or expectations. Mine happened several years ago and only lasted 7 months; fortunately a previous opportunity became live again and I was able to jump ship, but the painful memories remain. Fast forward, then, to last week when a 'recruitment partner' (what that?) contacted me to say that he'd like to 'source' me for a role. As an aside at this point, I suppose it's inevitable, but depressing nonetheless, that the monstrous regiments of the CIPD, having so thoroughly infected HR and recruitment with their mendacious spin and psychobabble should now turn their rapacious gaze on the English language as a whole. But it's worth stating, perhaps if only for the grammatical record, that source should remain a noun and not become a verb on their dodgy say so. Putting the aside to one side. The company name wasn't one I'd heard of before, but a quick Google showed the area of work - and geographic location - to be a rather uncomfortable match with the black hole in my CV, into which hopes and dreams vanished - if only for 7 months. I acted quickly, thanking for interest etc., but pointing out the match to the worst job I'd ever had, and closed wishing the partner every success in filling the vacancy. But the thought remained: no matter how good an HR professional is at weaving their 'magic' - not even they can beat the golden rule that you can't polish a turd. Though in my mind, he had at least tried to cover this one with glitter.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Going down in the Subway

Probably an unintended marketing consequence, but hearing a burly builder asking for a 'six inch Italian' brought on a fit of the fnaar fnarrs while I was queuing in a well-known sandwich outlet yesterday.

Thursday, October 04, 2018

Set course for Shetland: printing outside the box

Scotland's passed a law to stop Shetland being placed in a box on maps, which tend to show the islands being somewhere to the NE of Aberdeen, as opposed to their true location It seems the practice really annoys Shetlanders, which, given their liking for dressing as Vikings and brandishing swords and axes is something to be avoided at all costs. Even if it does mean that maps in the future will have to carry a lot of blue water: can't see the Scots being too pleased having to pay for all that extra, empty blue...