And let's all live in cloud cuckoo land

Interesting to see the Department of Children, Schools and Families (DCSF- or Dept for Cushions and Soft Furnishings) to the Children's Society survey into young people's experience and understanding of the recession - according to their spokesperson, we it's "disappointing" that children should be worried, going on to say, rather obviously that

"Parents are clearly best placed to talk to their children about their worries, but schools also play an important role in teaching young people the skills they need to become healthy, happy and confident individuals."

How can they be "confident" if we keep them in the dark: confidence comes from having the ability and the knowledge to make informed decisions and have an awareness of the world around them; not by being cosseted and deluded - that way we create a generation of happy morons.

Follow the banker

According to David Buik in the Guardian (of all places) bankers deserve their bonuses and to refuse them

"will discourage quality people from contributing to the wealth of the country and to our emergence from this terrible recession"

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But surely it was the self-same "quality people" that got us into this mess by following the orders of their leaders - the former "masters of the universe" who didn't understand what they were driving their underlings to sell and acquire on markets bloated by securitised debt.

As for the argument that runs: "we have to pay them because it's in their contract" - has Parliament forgotten that it's supreme: contract law is common law, statute law changes it at a stroke and can be retrospective. Have a look at the Law Reform (Frustrated Contracts) Act 1943 to see how far Parliament has intervened in the past. Those two were desperate times - we were at war then, and the Act prevented claims being lost for goods that were supplied to countries subsequently conquered by the Nazis.

Special relationship - good job the judges are realists

As expected, Miliband bottled it at the dispatch box. Let's hope the comments by Lord Justice Thomas and Mr Justice Lloyd Jones in the Binyamin Mohamed case don't get swept away in a tide of Foreign Office mush. And why does the US allow openness at home but prevent it here - Clive Stafford-Smith, once again, has a very pertinent take on the nature of the relationship - and the supine behaviour of our politicos, to whom it seems to matter more than that most cherished of democratic freedoms: parliamentary supremacy.

A fight they can't win?

"British jobs for British workers" - a laudable refrain, but one that looks like a fight that can't be won.The anger of those picketing the Lindsey Refinery - and their supporters at sites elsewhere in the UK - are a symptom of the fear and unease felt by many workers, but EU law won't allow the government to ban foreign workers coming here to work.

Strange also that Gordon Brown, having given the hostage to fortune phrase in the first place back in September 2007, today tried to straddle two horses heading for a painful divergence: speaking from Davos, he empathised with the protesters BUT pleaded for a rejection of protectionism - as the late, great Eric Morecambe would've said "get out of that".

This is just the first protest we'll see in the course of the recession: just hope that the others have a better chance of success.

Independent Financial Adviser Question

The most pressing question you're likely to hear from your IFA right now? "Do you want fries with that?"

Stimulate your pet - it's official

That nice Mr Benn, the Environment Secretary, is issuing pet owners with Codes of Practice, which include such gems as pets need beds, a toilet and mental stimulation.

His dad must be so pleased to see he's following in his footsteps as a fearless Socialist thinker...

The Quiet American

That, apparently, is the city nickname for Lloyds TSB Chief Exec. Eric Daniels. But yesterday, during a broadcast conference call, he sounded like the king of jargon. He talked about using the "synergy" that will arise between HBOS and Lloyds TSB to create £1.5 billion in savings for the merged banking entity.

I think that means here in Halifax that jobs will go - especially as the news reports seem to favour the BOS side of things, as opposed to the mortgage specialist H part of the company.

Let's hope the quiet American is prepared to listen to the town's MPs and Rosie Winterton, MP, Minister for Yorkshire & the Humber, because "synergy" could mean the end for this town.

Banking 2008

I went with a relative to close his Bradford & Bingley savings account last Wednesday. He was concerned about the bank's future stability and wanted to make sure his hard-earned was safe. The junior employee behind the counter tried to dissuade him, promising us that the bank was safe. So safe, in fact, that they were now recruiting and "look, we've all being given new uniforms!".

Not convinced, he went ahead with the closure. Fast forward to Friday and the "safety" of new uniforms and recruitment was exposed as a pretty hollow sham - the share price is now less than the rights offer to existing shareholders - and the hoped for American private equity investor has high tailed it back to the land of the free.

Shame that a once solid building society got suckered into the self-certification and get-rich-quick buy-to-let. Shame also that the chief donkey wallahs give the poor footsoldiers a dodgy script to play out to worried investors.

Northern Wreck and now Bradford & Bungley: northern-based demutualised former buildings societies on the get rich quick trai - one was unfortunate, but two looks like the start of a trend!

Naked children? Not on the Cake!

Not often I agree with Esther Rantzen but her comments about over the top child protection decisions are amply illustrated by Asda's refusal to allow the photo of a baby's bottom on a birthday cake intended for the now grown-up owner of the derriere.

Rantzen's comments were made in response to a Civitas report, entitled Licensed to Hug, which highlights the fears felt by many who would have previously volunteered to work with children, but now feel put off by the attitude of some organisations and even wider society itself.

Of course, CRB checks are necessary, but, as Asda have shown, disproportionate responses have far-reaching consequences and run the risk of preventing children from forming the relationships with adult members of the wider community that are necessary for them to develop into responsible and mature people in their own right.

Don't worry - Gordon only wants to protect you

I've read this speech three times now and I still don't understand how giving the state carte blanch to hold detailed personal information should make me feel any safer from terror.

Apart from the difficulty of knowing exactly who will be able to access my DNA, biometrics, bank account, Tufty club membership, grandfathers' inside leg measurements etc, etc., there's still the problem of misuse.

After all, we're only just learning how many councils have misused the powers granted to them under the Regulation of Investigatory Procedures Act, which has seen local authorities "spying" on people applying for school places and filling their wheelie bins - all in total disregard of of Jack Straw's solemn assurance that there would be tight controls on those using it.

Now, some will say if you've nothing to fear... But that's not the point - neither is the threat we face: we were not consulted about this massive intrusion into our personal lives. It feels like were just sleepwalking into a total surveillance society.

Benjamin Franklin had it absolutely right, when he said:

"Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety"

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Lesson in decorum and taste from the freesheets

Metro, Associated Newspaper's daily giveaway, offered its readers a new take on the Burma cyclone on Wednesday, May 7. Above the headline "Burma cyclone death toll could top 50,000", was a panel urging readers to log on so they could see a video of the destruction wrought by cyclone Nargis.

I know participation is all in news media, but on this occasion the best participation would be via donation - not morbid cyber-gawping.

Disasters' Emergency Committee Nargis appeal.

Serving Suggestion

I was a bit put out when we bought this pack of cakes. Seems modern etiquette requires you to take a bite out of a bun before offering it to your guests. Not wanting to make a social faux pas, I asked Marks and Sparks if this was the case. Apparently my comments have been sent to the sharp thinkers in marketing responsible for dreaming up such tosh; thought they'd have offered a year's free supply for providing a useful service: still, it's not too late if they want to recognise my diligence...

Gordon - the taxing Atlanticist

Can his aides please tell Gordon to give the Americanisation of Britain a rest? After it turned Blair into a poodle, you'd have thought his astute successor would have steered clear of being seen as a slavish adherent of things coming from the Land of the Free. Not so, he's proposing our very own British Purple Heart for those members of our armed forces unfortunate enough to be wounded in Labour's wars.

Like all the other things Gordon would like us to do, this will probably come to nothing - shame the same can't be said for his plans to tax low earners: the public's verdict on that will be all to painfully given on May 1.

Honouring the Military

Strange how, for such a reserved character, Gordon Brown wants us to 'celebrate' so much. If its not 'Britishness' - whatever that is, it's the armed forces, who he now wants to appear at sporting events. Shame, though, that celebration doesn't seem to extend to giving those who sign on the dotted line recognition for their human rights when they end up in harm's way, as under New Labour they seem to do on an increasing basis.

Surely the best way to 'honour' armed forces personnel is to ensure they are properly housed, paid and equipped, rather than going in for hollow cheer fests before the footie kicks off - or is this really about presenting a glamorous image to the bored youth on the terraces, in the hope they might be similarly inspired to join up?

'Celebration' and 'honour' are all very well, but they are meaningless gestures if we can't debate - much less dare to criticise - the conditions the government expects the forces to serve under.

Jam, Style and thanks on Oxford Street

I saw Paul Weller walking down Oxford Street last week. I'd like to apologise to him for causing a bit of a scene, but it's not everyday you see a true rock god in the flesh.

'He's not the god of creation, but he is the Lord of the Morning Light' Pan - As Is Now.

Couldn't put it better myself. Thanks for the music, long may it continue to inspire and enlighten.

Health and Safety on the Eye

Went on the London Eye with my nine year old son on Tuesday. Having paid for the tickets, we passed through security - which in our case consisted of a heavily-accented eastern european woman with a hand-held metal detector. On checking my rucksack she found a small football, at which point she asked me - in all seriousness - whether we were going to play with it on the trip! Aside from the fact that I was intent on getting my money's worth in sightseeing, didn't she think our fellow travellers might not look too favourably on a penalty shoot-out as they went round in the glass bubble with us.

A mistress of the bleeding obvious, if ever I came across one...

Horny-handed son of toil (or maybe not...)

Could Labour's new general secretary, city fund manager David Pitt-Watson be conclusive proof of the Party's break with its working class roots?

For the Party faithful there can be no doubt that money talks louder than tradition: Pitt-Watson was Brown's chosen candidate, in advance of a trade union official.

Keep the Red Flag flying - but not over New Labour.

Tesco just ruined Valentine's Day

The flowers I ordered to be delivered to my wife and one true love (it's OK, they're the same person) weren't delivered due to a communication problem in the warehouse. That's what they told me at the Call Centre. Thanks folks; as your slogan goes "every little helps".

Hope Cupid shoots straighter than this...

Who pays the politician, and why won't they tell us?

News that Peter Hain, Welsh Secretary and Secretary of State for Work and Pensions is to face a full parliamentary enquiry into the funding of his Labour deputy leadership bid is swiftly followed by revelations that Conservative shadow Chancellor, George Osborne, failed to over £400,000 in donations intended to fund his office.

If 'two jobs' Pete and Georgie, the self-professed chief bean-counter in waiting, either haven't the time or the intelligence to report donations properly, we definitely need a thorough overall of party financing.

Both Labour and Tories, when in power, have meddled with the financial reporting requirements to give their respective supporters and politicians some supposed advantage over the opposition. In reality, by cobbling together rules that favour the party in Government, they've created a system of byzantine complexity that politicians seem unable to understand or the public able to trust. Time for change; maybe even time to grasp the old state-funding nettle, after all, we can't trust the politicos to regulate themselves, can we?

Keeping it clean.

It's a bit of a nerve for the Cleaning and Support Services Association, the umbrella group that represents private contractors who are supposed to keep hospitals clean, to say that the Government's much vaunted £50 million "deep clean" should be scrapped in favour of more payments for regular cleaning.


We need clean hospitals and by interposing private firms, with dividend expecting shareholders, between the mop bucket and the ward, the NHS is being forced to divert funds away from cleaning into the pockets of CLSA members and their shareholders.

Once the hospitals are clean, we need to get rid of the self-serving CLSA and take cleaning back under the direct control of the NHS.